It was an unusual weekend's voting, given that our shortlister Ariel exercised her right to submit just two posts for consideration.

However, our judging panel's decision was... er... decisive.

And so, we congratulate Orbyn Dot Elsewhere Dot Com for her excellent The book wot I (never) wrote.

“I could be plodding round Sainsbury’s pondering turkey twizzlers when suddenly I’d be awash with the kind of wooziness that strikes you when you’ve had about five pints too many, the room spins and throbs, and you have an urgent need to be sick in a hedge.”

Continue reading....

The winning post was nominated by Mike, who also served as this week's head judge. Our other judges were Bob, Monozygote and last week's winner Mary. Thanks are also due to our "general public" voters.

An international shortlist has given us a close contest, but alas there can only be one winner. This week's Post of the Week goes to ...

Nelly's Garden's "In Which I Am Found Lying On The Broad Of My Back On My Father's Grave."

Nominated by Bob.

"Too true," said I. "If there's anything more cunning than a Catholic priest it's a Catholic bishop. No doubt they'll all have been sitting about discussing the problem of neglected graveyards."

Read more here ...

Our judges said:

I loved this post. A wonderful new voice to add to my RSS feed (which is about the only thing I can afford to overfeed these days).

Top points to Nelly’s Garden because it made me laugh and Priests are indeed a cunning lot. And Bishops are worse. Trust me.

This week's shortlist was prepared by George, and those weighing in on yonder voting were Sarah R, George, and Bob.

And the winner is...

Wait for it, wait for it...

Overdressed And Underpaid, with Shame

As with many of the incidents that sneak up on me when I’m trying to go to sleep, filling me with so much horror as I remember them that I have to stuff my duvet into my mouth to stop myself from screaming, I was very drunk when this occurred. I’d just started sleeping with a bloke in my friendship group that I’d fancied for ages, we’ll call him Travis, and was in the pub with him and some others.

Read more...


Our judges said:

OMG! I am so glad I'm not the only one this has happened to!

Purple froth, sex and a man called Travis - I laughed so much I nearly gagged.

This week's winning post was nominated by The Telf. Your very excellent shortlister was Sarah P, and your equally excellent judges were Jessica, Patrick, Hall of Fame Judge, Ariel and Guest Judge, Cliff. Head Judge was Dandelion. Sesame Street is a production of the Children's Television Workshop.

The race was neck and neck up to the finish, but we've consulted the video-tape replay and we have a winner.

This is This: Karma Comedian
nominated by Katy Newton

"A couple of weeks ago I went to a temple (click photo for larger pic). I stuck some money in a prayer box there. It might not be called a “prayer box”, but what do I know? I took a piece of paper out anyway and took off the rubber band to reveal an awful sight."

Read more ...

Your band of judges this week were Mike, George, Bob, and special guest Hall of Famer Anna. Sarah R was on Shortlist.

If you'd like to get involved with Post of the Week, we're always on the lookout for new judging talent. Interested? Click here for more details.

Don’t Mess With Me .. I’m From Luton: Policing “Extra”

Nominated by David Miles.

‘I’m not after fucking hair clippers,’ I said, turning for the door. ‘I’m after some strong tablets to help me cope with the trauma of coming back into this shop. Goodbye.’

[Read More....]

Our Judges said:

"That old chestnut, trying-to-return-a-purchase, but I enjoyed the quality it had of an especially good “Are You Being Served?” episode. Plus I looked up where Luton was and intend to blog about the place myself. You may let Mr Pinkstone know."

"What was it Bill Bailey always used to say about Argos? 'If all else fails we always have Argos. With the laminated book of dreams....It's the Narnia of household goods, the Tardis of toasters.' If an ordinary Argos is this good, what magic must reside within an Argos Extra?"

Your shortlister this week was your friendly neighbourhood Bob.

The Judgely huddle consisted of the lovely Sarah P, Ben, George and SwissToni

If you'd like to get involved with Post of the Week, we're always on the lookout for new judging talent. Interested? Click here for more details.....

Ooops, bit late on this one - sorry!

Anyway, our illustrious winner this week is An Englishman in Osaka's impressive Offensive English Test.

Our Judges said:
"I loved this well thought through, highly original and very funny post."
"Always good to see swearyness brought to a new audience"

This week's winner was nominated by Kate, the shortlisting was by Id Entity, your judges were Swiss Toni, Scaryduck, Cathy, and Zinnia Cyclamen and your Head Judge was Lyle, who's stepping down after this one.

Have fun, y'all.

[Edit : Sorry, Zinnia - link and reference duly added]

This week, the honour falls to Todger Talk, with the superb We Deal With Love Now on a More Personal Basis.

"When you get to a certain age, you get used to seeing your heroes dropping off. I heard about Barry White snuffing it at a sex show in Amsterdam, when Never Gonna Give You Up came on while some couple were going at it hammer and tong on a revolving stage, and all the English punters around me started clucking and saying “Eeh, in’t it a shame about Barry?” and at the end, the bloke withdrew, stood up and saluted the air in tribute, which was nice. He would have liked that.

Read more...

Our judges said:

"A touching tribute to loss on many levels, and a reminder how the "universals" out there are always individually imprinted on each of us."

"In all the Isaac Hayes tributes that I've read this week - and I've read a lot - this stands out as the most moving and the most true."

This week's winner was nominated by Mike. Your shortlister was Sarah P and your judges were Mike and Bob.

Scroobious Scrivenings - "I’ve seen food from both sides now"

(Nominated by Clair)

“Yesterday I found myself thinking I wanted a chocolate, while at the same time I was perfectly aware that I didn’t really, I wouldn’t enjoy it if I had one. What I wanted was the satisfaction which I normally get from chocolate, but which is now gone. (Try to imagine the horror.)”

[Read more…]

Our Judges Said:

"this resonates with me - and I like the style"

"she's totally wrong about the thinifers, you know.... some of us are just fattypuffs trapped in the wrong body.... but it's a fun read anyway."

Your shortlister this week was LizSara. The Judgely huddle consisted of Sarah R, George, Glitter for Brains and SwissToni.

If you like what you see and you want to get involved, then you can volunteer here.

It's been emotional.

We're at Number 80 already...and the winner this week is:

Zombie Fights Shark: Levels of Fame

“Not Famous - (examples: Me, you, the guy who works the sour cream gun at Taco Bell, most proctologists) Generally, it’s a pretty lousy state of being. I mean, you’ve got to actually work for a living, and that’s just for starters.“

Read more...

Our Judges said:
"...beautifully written, well structured, funny and apposite."


Your winning post was nominated by The Unbearable Banishment, shortlisted by Lyle and judged to be top of the tree this week by Zinnia Cyclamen, Mark Cashion, Monozygote, Anna P and Sarah R.

Ah, bless. After several nominations and subsequent visits to the shortlist, we're pleased to add 123 I Love You to our list of show offs more-than-once winners. Someone more clever than I will have to let us know if that puts him onto our critically acclaimed Hall of Fame list. If not, he's very close.

So, without further ado, we present this week's clear winner ...

123 I Love You with Deep-Fried Genocide and Vacuum-Sealed Penis

(nominated by peach)

"The boy cried and chased me with a stick, slapping my ankles and the backs of my legs. I tried to explain to him about the impermanence of this world – about how everything, really, is a sandcastle waiting to be stepped on by the heedless foot of Time, but that’s when he tried to bite my calf, so I ran shrieking into the all-forgiving sea."

Read more.

Our unusually quiet judges said:

"Laugh-out-loud funny."

"Can he just go ahead and write my blog, please?"

Shortlisting by Mike. Your judges this week were peach, Paige and Bob.

And the winner is.....

A Bald Blog: Anthem For Lost Love And Innocence.

“I carry some fairly bulky baggage. No surprise, that, everybody does; but I had no idea I was still carrying anything so old, so utterly unresolved, still so raw after all this time. I’d just put it all away in a drawer in some dusty room in my head, and simply stopped going there.”

Read more...

Our judges said:

"This kind of thing always happens when you least expect it, a funny and poignant reminder how music shapes all of our lives."

"This really resonated with me as someone who lives their life to a soundtrack. Music anchors us to people we once were, and never will be again. It made me realise that's why we often feel sad when we remember happy memories from long ago."


Shortlisting by SwissToni. Your judges this week were Dandelion (Head), LizSara, Jessica, and Hall of Fame Judge, Scary Duck.

This week's winner was nominated by Ben.

It's a tie!

Equally winning this week are:

Bete du Jour with Speed Dating

There were ten women and ten men, which meant ten dates each in two and a half hours, with the women assigned their own table and the men moving from date to date like giant, knicker-sniffing wasps.

Nominated by Angelalala

AND

Get in the Car with Everyone Was a Baby Once

I felt myself harden inside as I judged this young man for his foolish choice before even crossing the threshold to his room. I'm a mom. I protect my own children from this kind of trash. I stepped in and took a good look. He was only twenty-four, but nearly unrecognizable as a young man.

Nominated by Barb

Superb shortlisting was accomplished with skill by Sarah R and the judgmental judiciary were George S, Ben and Peach

As always it was a close race with 2 posts vying for the top spot. However with the final results in I can reveal that this week's Post of the Week is:

The perfect bacon sandwich by WrongTerrance (Nominated by Josh )

"It turned out that this guy was impressing, or trying to impress his new missus with their first breakfast in bed. My, I thought, how noble. If I ever get them to the stage where they need breakfast, it’s usually a fair bet a simple bacon sandwich isn’t going to rescue the evening."

read more...

Our Judges said:

"Terrance's adept story-telling made me laugh out loud - long, and hard - and so for that he gets the prize"

Your judging team this week were Mike, Ben and me LizSara and Bob was your shortlister.

Just a little reminder that here are Post of the Week we are always looking for new judging talent. If you think you have what it takes, or you just crave that PotW power then get in touch and join the fun.

It was a close-cut race this week, with a decider only being broken by a last-minute set of results coming through.

I'm pleased to announce that this week's Post of the Week goes to PC Bloggs with "Treading Water. (Nominated by Zinnia Cyclamen)

Our Judges said:

"If nothing else, this should go to illustrate why hoax 999 calls are a bad thing - you never know what else is going on at the same time"

Your panel this week was me, Lyle D4D™, Ariel, and Peach.

Trauma Queen: Manners.

Fair enough, this job’s unpredictable. You never know what’s coming down the road, what the radio holds for you.

But there are certain calls that you can apply a blueprint to, an overlay that the job fits into on the majority of occasions.

Like drunks.

Read more...

Our winning post was nominated by Karen. This week's shortlister was Peach, and the judges were Anna (representing the Hall of Fame), Jessica, Mike and Sarah R.

Unsolicited Plug Time! If you enjoy Post of the Week, then you'll most certainly enjoy You're Not The Only One: Intimate Stories From The Internet - a compendium of personal blog writing in paperback form, which is raising money for the War Child charity. You can buy the book here, and you can read more about it here.

The winner of this week's Post of the Week is........

[drumroll]

Of Cats and Men by Bête de Jour

"I don’t think the procuring of a new kitten is an attempt to replace that cat so much as finding another avenue for that love that you still have inside you but which suddenly has no place to go. I suppose in that sense it’s a little like relationship rebound. But hopefully not as temporary."

Read more....

The post was nominated by Barb.

Our Judges said:

"I was determined not to be in the slightest bit interested in yet another bloody blog post about cats.... and yet here I was being definitely moved by this touching tale of one man's love for his furry companion. I'll be voting for knitting blogs next, mark my words.... An excellent post, damn your eyes."

A worthy winner, and I think it sees Bête ascend into the pantheon that is the Post of the Week Hall of Fame. Well done sir.

Your shortlister this week was LizSara and your judges were Bob, George, Scary Duck and SwissToni.

Interested in helping judge on Post of the Week? Well you can. Details are here.

As you're here, I'm assuming that you'll be interested in a collection of stories written by bloggers, right? Well, in that case, don't forget to pick up your copy of the fantastic "You're Not the Only One"... with all proceeds going to Warchild. Full details here.

Toodle pip.

Another closely run race this week, but the winner is:


Cliff from This is This with I'd Still Own the Film Rights and be Working on the Prequel


"I don’t know of any good prequels. There are only four sequels which were better than the first parts, and those are The New Testament, The Empire Strikes Back, The Godfather 2 and Huckleberry Finn. It’s called a Number 2 for a reason."

Read more

Difficult to say about the shortlisting and judging this week, it all got in rather a muddle (though the votes came in fine!) so, suffice it to say: On the team this week were: Jerry - last week's winner, Ariel, Ben, Mono and me.

May I have the envelope please.

And the Post of the Week goes to ...

The Final Programme: I died in 2008. This is how it happened.

“Ewan McGregor and Zach Braff said nice things about me at the memorial service. Even with her arm in plaster, Lindsay made a beautiful widow.”

Read more ...

Our judges said:

"Different to most pieces that get nominated at POTW - and for that (and the fact that it's a novel idea) I really enjoyed it."

SwissToni nominated this week's winner and the judges were Sarah R, Peach and Bob.

And the winner is...

Bête de Jour: Brains

“I could tell something was wrong immediately. Keith had been particularly spiky on the phone, but that was half-normal. What gave it away was the expression on his face when I answered my front door. There was something unpleasant in his eyes. Apart from the sleep-bogeys. I was pretty sure he was going to say, ‘I don’t think we should live together’, so it was – weirdly – almost something of a relief when he said: ‘I’ve got a brain tumour.’”

Read more...

Our judges said:

"To me, thoroughly baffling in a voyeuristic kind of way. Odd basically."

"I'd say this made me not know whether to laugh or cry, but it's more subtle than that. A fine read, any way you look at it".

Nominated by MissyM
Shortlisting was by SwissToni, and your judges this week were Dandelion (Head), Jessica, LizSara, and Hall of Fame Judge, Ariel.

(View the shortlist here...)

Ahhhhh, again it was a close run thing this Sunday evening - so close only one little vote was in it but, and of course I'm chuffed to bits as I nominated it myself too (but I didn't vote this week because of that, and it stlll won).. the winner is:

1-2-3 I Love You's: This Morning I Wish I Were Deaf-Blind

"Do you think that I’m exaggerating about how much I dislike this sound? Well, I’m not. I would rather wake up in a semi-drugged state in the depths of some Russian forest and hear a group of men arguing about which one of my organs to harvest." Read more...


Our judges said:

"Varry funny. Make me raff."

and

"There's nothing like a big shouty comedy rant, frankly. But then, I get really sick of all this 'meh, look at me, I have cancer and then my dog died' crap, I'm not sure I should be a judge on these things, really"

and

"quotable fun, I love this blog!"



The hard working team this week consisted of: Fabulous running-in-a-bra-this-weekend-lass (go and give cash!) shortlister was Sarah R, last week's winner and guest judge Peter, the lovely new kid on the POTW block George, the hilarious Hall of Fame Judge, Anna (please please, if you don't already, check out her The Apprentice live blog on the Guardian website, too too funny) and meeee, Sarah P.

Keep your nominations coming....

Lots of entries this week but we have considered carefully and have chosen a winner

Post of the week this week goes to Naked Pete who wanted to Hang em High

Slouched right down in the seat, be-jeaned legs wide apart (no smart clothing here), intruding on to my part of the seating. Horrible. I really hoped he wouldn't get picked.Read More

Our Judges said:

"A master-class in effective story-telling, with not a word wasted. You'll feel like you were there"

Your jugding team this week were Me LizSara, Mike (who incidentally also nominated the post originally) and Ben with Bob as your shortlister.

View the shortlist

It's been a quiet week this week - they happen every so often.

Anyway, this week's winner is Real E Fun's "Humph RIP.

Our judges said:
"A touching and funny obituary"
"The kindly curmudgeon Zinnia Cyclamen piqued my interest with an informative obit of a man I confess I had never heard of; before the end of her post, however, I was determined to find out more, having followed her useful embedded links, and by the end I felt as though I not only understood her genuine dismay at Humph’s passing, but how he fitted into the meaning of her life and why he was worthwhile blogging about."

Your judges this week were me, Lyle, GS and Cathy, with Peach as shortlister.

What a great week of posts, I loved them all ! This week's winner is:-

A Lard Off My Mind's: Cunts: They've Got Our Garage Forecourts

(nominated by: LizSara)

"The next thing I knew, the same white van was on my left and the driver, a short, balding, bespectacled man in maybe his early fifties was leaning out the window, shouting, swearing and waving his arms around. Fists were waved and fingers pointed in my general direction. I gathered that he wanted me to move further to the right so that he could go to the pump on my left, and so I moved over - which was what I was in the middle of doing anyway." Read more...

Our judges said:

"A superbly funny version of the "what I should have said" game (which I play much too often), with a gentle reminder that we needn't sink to to our nemesis' level (no matter how vile they are). "

"She did well to restrain herself with what she did say, I'd have slapped him 'round the face"

"How about: 'Why, you too fat for them yourself?' "


Our shortlister this week was Swiss Toni and your judges were Jessica, Bob, Gordon and Sarah P.

Thanks for playing and see you in the nomination box for the new week...

John’s blog: Talking about grief…
(Nominated by One Fine Weasel )

Guys see themselves as invincible and all-knowing - probably why we won’t ask for directions. Boys ridicule those who cry and victimize those that seem weak and that social conditioning carries through to adulthood. Which leaves us invisibly disabled, wary of showing weakness and incapable of sharing pain. “Suck it up!” the coach yells. We did and we do.

Read more...

Another closely contested fight to the line, with all of the shortlisted posts receiving support from the judges. In the end though, we had one post that timed their dip to the line perfectly and thus takes pride of place on the top of this week's podium, with a bunch of flowers clutched in their fists, a gold medal around their neck and a tear in their eye as the national anthem is played.

Unless they choose to boycott the ceremony of course....

This week's Post of the Week is Random Burblings with "The Five Ring Circus"

The post was nominated by Misssy M

"So Paula Radcliffe tells us that we tarnished the ideals of the Olympic flame, ideals of unity and hope, by using it for political protest. I contend that the Olympic torch could not be more tarnished than it already has been by the very people who were entrusted with its protection. The International Olympic Committee have already pissed all over it in their frantic pursuit of the almighty dollar. It long since ceased to symbolise unity and hope, today it is merely a reminder of corruption and greed."

[read more....]

Our Judges Said:

"Opinionated and to the point in so far as it serves as a useful reminder of what the Olympics are about. Definitely not random, certainly not a burbling."

"Some of the best bloggers are those who articulate what we all think. But cleverer."

"Superb post. Passionate, opinionated and bang on the money"

A worthy winner indeed.

Your shortlister this week was Bob (who considering he's mid-housemove did a sterling job, I think)
Your judges were Lyle, Monozygote, Ariel (our hall of fame judge), Sam Burnett and me, SwissToni.

Post of the Week is always on the lookout for people to help out with the shortlisting and judging every week, so if you're interested... and who wouldn't be.... then click here for more information on how you can get involved.

Keep'em peeled.

Well well well. One judge gone AWOL, but deadlines are deadlines.

It was quite the horserace this week, with votes all over the board.

So, congratulations to this week's POTW winner.

Kitchen Table with So, yeah, it was Easter, wasn’t it?
Nominated by Mike

“I’m not one for religion, as regular readers will know, but I am fascinated by it. Partly I’m fascinated by the really crazy stories that are told, that religious people choose to believe literally happened. Against all common sense.”

Our judges said ...

"I am an atheist, and I like people who agree with me."

"I'm a sucker for iconoclasm, especially when it's Christian myths that are being debunked. It's a terrific, pithy, funny blog post."

"Totally made me laugh. Great post."

This week's judges were: Mike, member of the public Zinnia Cyclaman, last week's winner Reynolds, Hall of Famer Scary Duck, and little ol' avuncular me. Your shortlister was the ever lovely Sarah P.

Thanks to everyone who played, and we look forward to your contributions next week.

Hello, thankfully we had a full set of judges' votes in this week and a set from a member of the public. As each vote-bearing email plopped in, it was neck and neck between three posts, each set of votes changing the front runner again and again. Finally, with the last set of votes in from The Overnight Editor (Hall of Fame Judge) there was a winner, merely 3 points ahead of position 2.

Before I announce it, extended and juicy thanks to dear Lyle, for shortlisting this week and for the sole running of POTW last week when the rest of us were basking in some 4-day chocolate lined languishment (I guess that's what we were all doing?).

So, POTW winner this week is:

Reynold’s post: Exit, Pursued by Bear.

SCENE ONE
Two men of the same age in a sparsely decorated bedroom. One man (REYNOLDS) is an ambulanceman, the other (SPOTTY BLOKE) is a man suffering from Chickenpox.

REYNOLDS enters. READ MORE...

Our judges said:

"I found myself both smiling and grimacing in equal measure. I literally do not know how he does it. In his position I would be fighting the urge to murder people on a daily basis."

"You can almost hear the teeth grinding. Lesser writers should take note how this post describes so perfectly with no words of description at all."

The winner was nominated by Alex and your judges were: Monozygote, Jessica, member of the public Jon, previous winner Mr Angry, aforementioned Hall of Fame judge The Overnight Editor and me, still illegally riding a neighbour's airwaves thanks to the absurd fumblings of Orange and BT. Zak Stewart, whomever you are, I will knock on every door of every neighbour in close proximity to my house, seek you out and buy you an enormously grateful bottle of your choice, thank you...

Well, it's been a funny old week - not one of the judges listed has sent any votes to me. So, in the interests of getting it all done and ready for this week's nominations, it's been left to me as Head Judge to be (as it were) Jury, Judge(s) and Executioner

And so, in this despotic way of mine, I can happily announce that this week's Post of the Week is : (fanfare)

Big'n'Juicy's "Health and Safety advice for those planning on getting crucified this Easter.

"Please ensure that you have an up-to-date tetanus vaccination before performing any self-flagellation. Lockjaw is not pleasant, especially if your daily life involves any activities which require you to open your mouth."

Our Judge (Me) said "This made me laugh - the idea of a Health and Safety rep working on crucifixion advice guidelines just tickled me".


Your shortlister this week was Mike and your Head (and only) Judge was me, Lyle. Where the rest of 'em went, I know not.

So. You want to get involved, don’t you? It’s easy - just click here and follow the instructions.

Good Evening.

Well, well - we have another tie this week.

Congratulations to (in alphabetical order) Mr Angry and Wendy for their respective posts this week:

I Am Livid: Tube Fare Dodgers, nominated by Duck

People tend to take notice of the warning signs, or rather the 27% of tube users that can read do anyway. However, the animal kingdom clearly do not hold any fear of the ’system’. They have been known to regularly flaunt the rules, and I refer in particular to the pigeon that joined my Circle Line train at Edgware Road yesterday.

[Read more...]

Our Judges said:

"bless that pigeon!"
"stop the pigeon!"
"Wonderful, but if Mr. Angry really lived up to his name he'd have taught that bird a lesson and had squab for dinner."


It's A Life: Ten Seconds Is A Long Time In Showbusiness, nominated by Katy Newton

When you look at 10 seconds as a fraction of an hour, it’s not very long. As a fraction of a year, it becomes more or less insignificant.

10 seconds is a long time though.

Imagine for instance, the theatre-dahling. You’re watching a production of Richard III, when some Olivier-esque actor or other says…

“Off with his….”


[Read more...]

Our Judges said:

"a simple premise, just a few seconds of someone's day, there isn't any reason why that should make a good anecdote, but when nicely done, it does"
"oh god, we've all done it, but nicely prosed by Wendy"
"Clever and well-written, with and ending I didn't see coming from someone I'd never read before. Aces."



Your shortlister this week was Monozygote. The judgely-huddle consisted of Anna (from the Hall of Fame), Lee (winner of last week's POTW and new member of the Hall of Fame), Bob (all round top POTW team member and eminent blogger) and me, Sarah R.

It's been mildly chaotic - but thanks to the patience of the team, all's well.

So. You want to get involved, don't you? It's easy - just click here and follow the instructions.

Glitter for Brains: Dinner Dates and Bus Stops.
(Nominated by Peach)

All this talk of dating reminded me how hideous and how brilliant it is. Especially for Gentlemen Who Were Picked Last In Games for, you see, we have an extra card to play at the end of the night.

Read more...

Evening all. We had a clear winner this week.

Todger Talk: Mr Sex: If you need and explanation on how depressing this is, then we got a LONG day ahead of us

Nominated by peach.

"The real root of prostitution is in the economic system and not the criminal laws, says Patrick. "There are a lot of single mothers who feel that's the only way they can make money. If you want to get rid of prostitution the way is to reform the welfare system."

;oijhffrghfhwoee88e ur e9e e eduhfhfdhufhfo84 lkgf09 fdsszsz hfjfddipoijduihddiojdo;d hdiddigydgydio8

(That was me bashing my head against the keyboard over and over again)

Should prostitution be legalised? Course it should. Should shit-thick ignorance be criminalised in its place? Hell yeah. These deluded nob-ends seem to be living in a world where the women loll about on beds in fluffy mules with fruity foreign accents, capitalising on the cow-like frigidness of the local womenfolk by earning a nice bit of cash for their dear old Mams in Potatovia in a sexy, sexy way until Richard Gere comes along, and pimps are evidently crazy funsters with big Afros, that’s all.

[Read more...]

Our Judges said:

"A fantastic post, illustrating lots of the forms of hypocrisy people employ when buying hookers".
"It's a great post, for sure, but what makes it for me is the passion on display - both in the post itself and in the comments"

Your shortlister this week was Bob. The judgely huddle consisted of Lyle, Ben,Wendy, Scary Duck (this week's Hall of Fame judge) and me, SwissToni.

It's been emotional, as always.

Hey! Wanna get involved in this beautiful and fulfilling project but don't know how? Sure you do! Well, it's dead easy. Click here to find out more.....

OK. Gotta run, but you've been amazing.

Evening All.

It was very nearly a tie this week until a late vote changed everything and Wendy emerged a clear winner:

It's a life: Open letter to the lady in the bank
Nominated by Cliff

…Whilst queuing in the bank today, I overheard a woman telling her friend that she was thinking of embarking on an affair with a married man. She didn’t use those exact words of course, but that was the gist. This is an open letter to her…

Read more...

Our Judges said:

Eloquent, intelligent and all round good advice!
Words of wisdom are rarely so well expressed.
Heaven Forbid the thought should ever cross my mind - but this is a fine way of reminding me it's a very silly thing to do. Eloquently put.


This week's shortlisting duties were performed via tin-can and string by the lovely Peach. Thanks to the Judging Panel, which comprised Cathy, Overnight Editor, Dandelion and yours truly, Sarah R, snoring over her keyboard this Sunday evening.

Don't forget, if you want to influence the outcome of Post of the Week - you can. Just click here to find out how.

This week’s winning post should cycle us all back to spin class, maybe equipped with a fattie, a microdot, or just the natural endorphins that accompany good old-fashioned exercise.

Congratulations to ForkSplit and her tale of Tweaker Tanya.

Nominated by Mike

I’m no gym rat. Sometimes, in fact, I’ll go months without seeing the inside of a gym. Then, my ass starts jiggling during sex, so I’ll hit the gym for a few months until everything’s nice and tight. Then I stop. For a couple months.

Read more ...

Our Judges said:

I can't fathom having the inclination to go to the gym (stoned or otherwise), but I might be tempted to join a class with Tanya.

Funny and original.

Is this what gyms are like? I have to start going. I also particularly liked "One Sunday, I was watching an elderly chimp doing karate on YouTube and eating Nacho flavored Bugles when I realized something. God, I thought. I am a waste of space."

This week’s team consisted of shortlister Lyle, and the multi-timezone judging squad of Ben, Jessica, members-of-the-public Zinnia and James, as well as not-so-little (I do need a spin class) old me, Bob.

You do know that YOU can join in the fun too, right? Clicketh here to get the skinny and be a part of next week's fun.

This week's winner has a larger than life ability to convey the funny in almost everything he touches. I give you,

Smaller than Life: It Might As Well Rain Until September.
From smug to mugs in one fell swoop. (read more...)

nominated by The Girl

Our Judges said:

A fretful dad deciding the characteristics of their just born and unborn babies based on an excel spreadsheet, some bad childhood memories and a calendar? That makes perfect sense. I’m off to do mine now!

A brilliant example of taking a tiny, split second thought and turning it into a hilarious post.

This explains why all the youngest kids in my class were 2nd born, though those calculations must have taken hours on an abacus.

Having children forces you to do accounts in a spreadsheet? Yet more reasons not to breed.

This week's team was made up by mike on shortlisting duties, and the international judging squad of Hall of Fame judge, anna, past winner Missy M, Cathy, Toni,Sarah R, and moi, asta.

Did you see the BAFTAS or the Grammys and wish you had a vote? Well you can here. Click and discover the power. I'm feeling all Yodaish now.

Evening all. A good strong field in the shortlist this week, but a worthy and convincing winner clearly emerged....


Reluctant Memsahib: My Big Toe Hurts

"I do not blog because I approach life with such rampant enthusiasm I cannot bear to let an unrecorded moment slip by; I do not blog because I think I lead an enviably fascinating life that everybody is just busting to read about.

I blog because I’m lonely."

[read more....]

Nominated by MissyM

Our judges said:

"Depth without cloying, honesty without extreme discomfort."

"A quiet desperation, thoughtfully expressed."

Post of the Week was shortlisted on Friday (before he caught a plane) by Bob. Judging was carried out in a relatively orderly fashion by Lyle, Patita & by me, SwissToni, with the legendary Overnight Editor taking part as our Hall of Fame judge and with the invaluable assistance of YOU, the general readership.

Have you ever wanted to get involved in the judging of Post of the Week but have never really known how? It's easy! Click here and all will be revealed!

Evening all, I am pleased (because I nominated it too!) to announce this week's runaway winning post, is Missy Martin's In Utero

"...I feel obliged to write a quick ready reckoner for all Mums to be. Frankly, I don’t think any of those pregnancy books are telling it like it is. But don’t fear; the Misssives will.

The following is to be viewed by those that are ready for the truth about childbirth. If, like Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men, "you can’t handle the truth”, look away now and come back in a few days time. Or go and have a look at some fluffy Mommy bloggers’ sites and read about how magical and spiritual it all is...."

Read more...

Our judges said:

"Take that, Hallmark!"

"Yup, that pretty much sums up how it seemed to me, and I was only in the delivery room (for my sister's first baby) for an hour or so".

"Great fun, I guarantee I will be swearing like that if and when the time ever comes for me..."


Many thanks to the swift reading, shortlisting, judging and voting skills of: Patita, Bob, Asta and Hall of Fame judge, Scary Duck ... and me (peach).


Roll on the new nominations for this week (and don't forget you, yes YOU, can now vote on the shortlists!).

This week the winning post is a return to that old favourite : Revenge. Oh, and on-line advertising.

The winner is "Joe. My. God." with the epic "Revenge of Plan B". (Nominated by Mike) Sounds like it should be a 60s B-Movie? Believe me, it isn't. It's definitely 'R'-rated though (for Revenge, of course).

Our judges said:
"A shockingly hilarious tale of modern manners, masterfully told, with lethal, pin-point precision."
"hilarious story, grippingly and hilariously told"

This week’s judging panel comprised Sarah R as Shortlister (Not that that's any reflection on her height) with judges: Sarah P, Ariel, Mike, Lyle and you - yes - YOU the voting readership…(if you happened to have spotted the invitation to join in with the weekly voting process).

If you didn’t join in this week - never fear - there’ll be another chance to influence the final result, with details published once the Shortlist is up on Saturday. Keep ‘em peeled.

Of course, if you want to join in on a more permanent basis - we’d love to have you. Just click here for information.

A bit of education this week folks and - as its nominator, jonesy, pointed out - not necessarily one for the squeamish...

Todger Talk: The reason I joined this blog

The sex was ace. But she had a strange foreplay technique which involved bending my nob about like an Atari joystick during a particularly intense level of Pac-Man.

Read more...

Our judges said:

It seemed wrong to laugh at something so personal and gory - but laugh I did.

I'm not sure there's any sentence surer to grab my attention (and make me cross my legs) than one that contains the phrase '...the day I ejaculated blood'. Once grabbed, my attention was then held by phrases like: 'Atari joystick', 'jelly dildo', 'jizzing blood' and (perhaps most alarmingly of all) 'teenage girl's felt tip pen'.... Men have been thinking *with* their todgers for so long, it's probably about time they did some thinking *about* them for a change, eh?

Anyone who can teach me something and make me laugh at the same time gets my vote.


This week's judging panel comprised Sarah P on shortlisting duties with judges: Sarah R, SwissToni, asta and you - yes - YOU the voting readership...(if you happened to have spotted the invitation to join in with the weekly voting process).

If you didn't join in this week - never fear - there'll be another chance to influence the final result, with details published once the Shortlist is up on Saturday. Keep 'em peeled.

Of course, if you want to join in on a more permanent basis - we'd love to have you. Just click here for information.

It has been neck and neck all the way during the voting, with no more than a whisker separating two of our eight shortlisted posts.

In the end, the final set of votes received brought both of our front runners together, in a dead heat photo finish. It therefore gives us great pleasure to announce that the ultimate accolade of Post of the Year 2007 is to be split between...

Big Ass Belle: piano music.

...and...

Little Red Boat: Hard life in the low rises. Of Hassocks.

One is American; the other is British. One is moving; the other is hilarious. Both are beautifully written, and both are splendid examples of the sort of diversity that, at its best, Post of the Week is all about. Hearty congratulations to both Lynette and Anna, and many thanks to all who voted.

Post of the Week will now be taking a quick breather, while we sort ourselves out behind the scenes. We'll still be accepting nominations, but the next shortlist won't be appearing until Saturday January 12th.

Wishing all of our readers a Happy New Year,

The Post of the Week team.

After the record-setting number of nominations this week, the coveted Post of the Week #49 goes to May Contain Notts's "By the way, I hate Christmas". It's retread of a piece written for last year and a shot of lemon juice in your egg nog! What better for the season, I ask?

"I dunno about you, but if I was his missus and all I could see at night was a massive neon reindeer head staring at me through the curtains, I’m not going to be massively up for a seeing-to."

Read more...

Nominated by Kate. The shortlister of a thousand faces was Lyle, bless his patience for sorting through such a long list. Judges were quickdraw Mike and Alex the able. Head judge and dutiful scribe was Patita.

Care to join in on the fun? Click here for details of how you can get involved. Go on, you know you're curious.

Next week is the vaunted, the valued, the vertiginous... ooh, wait for it... POST of the YEAR AWARD! Cue the music!

No nominations for this week, but you can have a look at all of the previous weekly winners here.

This week's resounding winner is ScaryDuck's On Christmas round-robin letters

"This is the year that I have finally succumbed and written one of those round-robin letters you always receive in Christmas cards from annoying people.

You know the type - people who really deserve to be dragged out and shot crowing about promotions at work, the wife's successful production of Don Giovanni and Jemima's new pony, all with far too many exclamation marks.

Season of goodwill? Arse."

Read more...

Our Judges said:

"I'm taking the Duck at his word that he didn't crib any of this from my second cousin, twice-removed. I tend to believe him because this is actually fun to read."

and

"I didn't realise people still did this... If I had to, mine would go like his... Bloody Xmas, bloody Other People..."

The winning post was nominated by Kate. Your seasonal shortlister was Sarah R and your jolly judges were Asta and my santa-esque self Sarah P. Things were kept running smoothly, as usual, by Mr Mike...

Well, well, well. I think we have a first in ye ol' Post of the Week. Much like Santa's list, the ballots have all been checked twice (thrice, in fact), and we most definitely have a tie.

This week's co-winners are:

Everything Is Electric: I was in a canteen somewhere in the Midlands this morning.
(nominated by Sarah)

"THE BUTTON IS CLEARLY MARKED."

Read more ...

Our judges said ...

"The author's self-restraint is astounding, and I'd have laughed more if I wasn't shaking my head in painful recognition."

"She had me at 'steamed pudding dressed up as a dinner lady'. I'm hoping she'll make a short film out of this."

and

Sarah, The Bringer of Tea: Happy Tranniversary to Me!
(nominated by Greg K. Nicholson)

Two years ago I was a shy, paranoid tranny hiding behind my hair and spending my time in public trying to work out how to keep interaction with strangers as minimal as possible.

Read more ...

Our judges said ...

"I think the very core of blogging is about encountering other lives and experiences that radically differ from our own. This is the first I've read where (what would be for me) an everyday activity is the crux of the blog itself, and expertly allows you to see her point of view without feeling as if you've been made to."

"A thought-provoking 'humdinger' of a post from a blog I've never heard of — this is just what Post of the Week is all about."

Congratulations to both of our lovely ladies (one a bringer of tea, the other a would-be drinker of it) for brewing up these blogtastic beauties.

This week's team of judges, who were sequestered in separate, yet well-appointed, sound-proof booths during the voting process were Timbo, Ben, and Bob. The shortlist was shortlisted by Mike.


Why haven't YOU joined in the jollity of judging? It's easy and fun and takes hardly any time at all. Clicketh here to see how you can get involved.

In a close race that went to a photo finish, this week's winner is the oft-nominated Overnight Editor- Back to school with a gun,

Yes - the English department.
Those failed homosexuals.

Because that classroom, with those Sirs at the helm
convinced us lads that poetry's realm
was ladies, losers, or gifted squanderers,
poseurs, pansies, effete cloud-wanderers.

Read more...

Our judges said...
"I love this post."
"Praise the bard and pass the ammunition."

This winning post was brought to you by the letter Y, and the number 3. Assisting were lovely short lister asta, the Honorable previous winner East Coast Squarehead, and passer of final judgement patita. The post was graciously nominated by Angelalala.

This week's winning post is the illustrious "May Contain Notts" with the 'wonderfully acerbic' post "Ten things you won't see in Nottingham in Euro 2008".

"People who moan about all-seater stadiums love international tournaments, because they can go to Walkabout or somesuch and relive the ‘good old days’. You have to get there at least an hour early to get a good spec. Then you get wedged in against a load of pissed-up twats, struggle to listen to what Gary Lineker has to say and are forced to listen to crap music for half an hour."
Read more...

Our judges said...
"Wonderfully acerbic"
"I know it's not very highbrow but I choked on my tea over the "Jizz on my tits for England" line."

This winning post was brought to you by the head judge, Yours Truly Lyle D4D™, and the judges panel of Stray, Dandelion and previous winner RenterGirl. The post was nominated by the ever-industrious Mike.

Armchair News: Neon Lights are Bright on Broadway

[nominated by Mike]

So I went to see Duran Duran play on Broadway on Friday night, having done a nice little article on the shows (they’re doing ten of them to promote their new album, “Red Carpet Massacre”) for work, a version of which will appear in Billboard later this week. That is the sort of sentence which, when I was 15, I’d have literally wet myself to imagine I’d be saying some 27 years later. If I could have imagined 27 years later. And there still is a 15 year old in the upper left side of my brain going “holy shit! holy fucking shit!”

Read more...

Our Judges said:

"My inner 15-year-old would have been right alongside her."

"The kind of behind-the-scenes look into the glamourous world mirage of reporting on famous people that never makes it into magazines"

"I think you just made an aging rock star drummer's day."

Your shortlister this week was Patita.
The Judge-ly huddle consisted of asta, Bob and SwissToni

If you'd like to help judge Post of the Week in the future, then see here for details of how you can get involved.

Thanks. It's been emotional.

It's that time of the week again. That painful time when I have to try desperately to rouse myself from my late Sunday evening torpor so I can tell the world the amazing news! Yes indeed, I am more pleased than you will ever know to be able to announce that this week's winner of Post of the Week is...

Emz: ALLSORTS - SRS BZNS

I look down to the countertop, and he has laid out two of each sweet, one from each packet, side-by-side. "Now this one," he says, pointing to a bobbly one, "is from the right packet. Squish it!" I squish. It is sort of squishy. "And this one," he continues, "is from the packet you bought me, and it is MUCH SQUISHIER!" I squish it. It is a little bit more squishy. "And this one is HARD and SHAPED LIKE BERTIE BASSETT which is AS IT SHOULD BE. But the one from your packet IS JUST A TWISTY SHAPE!!!"

Read more...

Our judges said:
"A hilarious tale of the minute made massive. It will be some time before I can resist laughing whenever someone uses the word 'findings'."
"Cute and quirky."
"So funny, laughed at every line!"

Well done to Joseph for nominating the winner!

Your shortlister this week was the exceedingly tasty Bob, the judges were Sarah P, Kathy and Overnight Editor (who are all pretty flavoursome too), and the head judge was me, Timbo. I'm a bit past my sell by date.

Now, let's be having a few more nominations this week please. Yes, you heard. Stop reading and get nominating all those spiffy posts maintenant, or you'll have me on your back, and I whiff a bit.

You have been warned.

I am pleased to announce that this week's unanimous winner of Post of the Week is our very first winner of Post of the Week, way back, 41 weeks ago. That numbering system is so handy.

The Overnight Editor: There's a Time Machine on Kingley Street

“Ow. Next morning - afternoon, whatever, they’ve been fucking about with the clocks this weekend - proper fucking headache, like a jubilee clip tightening round my skull. Teeth ringing and all sensible thought lost in the screamsplitting fissure between the two halves of my brain, fizzing and arcing hot white and angry like two hemispheres of enriched Uranium.”

Read more...

This post was nominated by Peach.

Our judges said-

"sheer bizarre lunacy and captivating writing"

"A wonderfully imaginative and pleasingly perverse novella in miniature."


This week's shortlister was SwissToni. Judging duties were assumed by mike and Timbo with me, asta, serving as head judge.

Fancy a turn in the judge's robes? We'd love the company. Let us know if you'd like to join us as a regular or guest judge.

Congratulations to the winner and all the nominees.
A new week begins.

East Coast Squarehead: New Tears

“Yesterday afternoon, (Friday) forty-eight hours after surgery and time to remove the dressing. I went to the pharmacy before work, while she was sleeping. I purchased extra thick padded gauze, four by fours and tape so she could dress it again if needed. A guy came to the door with flowers and get well balloons from her friends at the plant. I left her a note. “Damn, if I ain’t been trumped. All I got you was bandages”. That’s what the note read.”

Read more...

This post was nominated by asta.

Our judges said:

It's the everyday,matter of fact tone that makes this one moving. "Everything ischanging. My wife has breast cancer. I'm afraid the NewTears are here to stay. I'm afraid the New Tears will never go away.Can't stop the New Tears. Maybe it's supposed to be this way. Maybe theNew Tears will lead the way."

There's not much one can say about this other than urge someone to read it.


This week's judging panel comprised Lyle (Shortlist), SwissToni and Patita (Judges) and Head Judge duties were carried out by yours truly, Sarah.

If you're interested in joiing the Post of the week team, we're always looking for regular and guest judges. Don't be shy!

Renter Girl's Renting Dreams Home Owning Nightmares

Feeling like a loser is poor motivation, but a strong one. Many of my friends are way beyond home purchase chatter, having entered a world of loft extensions, renovations, and relocating to the country. Occasionally, I would like to join in.

Read more ...

The post was nominated by Asta.

Our judges said:

Been there, done that, and it brought back *lots* of memories.

and

Meaningful musings on an issue I think all of us will have (at some point in our lives) battled with.


This week's estimable behind-the-scenes crew included shortlister Sarah P, with Anna Pink and Lyle in the roles of Judge. Head Judge duties were performed by the always avuncular Bob.

Did you know that you can be part of the fun too!?!? Yes! It's true. Post of the Week is looking for regular and guest judges - please let us know if you’re interested in joining the team.

It's always nice when the post you nominated wins ... and conscious of any possible bias I withheld my votes until the others were in, at which point it was clear that the winner was already going to be:

Walking Data Loss's Brothers or Sisters...

Characters in drama series and sitcoms exacerbate awkward or uncertain situations by avoiding communicating directly with a particular person (or several people), especially when frank communication with that person (or those people) would undoubtedly resolve all of their anxiety and/or uncertainty. (This is known as Frasier’s Law.)

Read more...

Our judges said:

Brilliant!

and

I not only broke a rib laughing, but I keep quoting this…

Your shortlister this week was: Asta
Your judges were: Sarah R and bedshaped

... and Stray (that's me) was your Head Judge...

Post of the Week is looking for regular and guest judges - let us know if you're interested in joining the team!

I'm very pleased to announce this week's winner, not least of all because I nominated it too... Now, because that makes me copper, judge and jury, I didn't vote this time, despite being head judge... and it still won....

It is Isabelle's Doosra...

"Sure , in the 70’s , when I was small , I remember the rows and stormy patches , my dad with hippy sideburns and bookish ways clashing with my mums flippancy and flightiness . But somehow they got through those times of betrayal and conflict and had settled into something that looked like old love. Or friendship . Or both."

Read more...

Our judges said:

A great tribute to her mother and father. Her respect and love for them is apparent but she pulls no punches about the realities of being a 'carer' and the inadequacy of the term itself. I loved it. (Tiny point: the spaces before the commas niggled my OCD brain a little)

and

Heart-rending and tender and true.

Your shortlister this week was: Mike
Your judges were: Hellojed and Dandelion

... and I, Peach was your Head Judge...

Fancy joining the Post Of The Week team? Come and sign up !

Learning to sleep with the light off - The morning of her making

She dresses in silence. Carefully slipping each moisturised leg into a thick black stocking, she pulls the neatly arranged navy dress over her head. The hair dryer buzzes and blows her brown hair and she is briefly thankful for the noise to muffle the internal dialogue. One, two, three strokes and she puts the brush down. 5:15